Desperate on the east coast asks:

Las F, My 30th birthday is in 3 weeks. My boyfriend is taking me to one of the best restauraunts in the country to celebrate. I really don't spend much money on myself at all and I find myself completely clueless about what to wear. I need to go shopping and as a plus size girl... I feel limited in that department. I just got my hair cut.. just splurged on a pedicure. I'm ready for more and I need direction/advice! I'm uncomfortable with my legs, so skirts around the knee are really a no go. Help?????


Dear Desperate,

I like to think of your situation as "in need," rather than "desperate." Desperate means "without hope" and with a little guidance, all hope can be restored. As F. Seattle discussed back in March, full-figured women is a synonym for foxiness.

If your big birthday date is semi-formal in nature, meaning the restaurant you'll eat at has white linen tablecloths and crisp, starched napkins, a dress is most appropriate. The mistake made by plus-sized women when choosing a dress is forgetting to choose one with structure, therefore enveloping themselves in a tent. Curves are sexy, so don't be afraid to show them off!

The "Little Black Dress" is a staple for a big date, and while it may be conventional, it doesn't have to be boring. Take this black dress for example. The mid-section gathers draw the eye upward, and the v-neckline is perfect for some outrageously fashionable jewelry. The length of the dress hits mid-calf, modestly covering your lower half.

But don't pigeon-hole yourself with black--Afterall, it is springtime! Bring on the color!

If you determine that you absolutely, cannot sport a dress for the big event, dress trouser pants will work just fine. Instead of black, step outside the box in a pair of crisp, tailored white pants.

Compliment your white-hot pants with a dressy top in a bold color

or with sexy embellishments.

And don't forget the most important part of any ensemble, the shoes!



All photos are hyperlinked to online vendor.

In light of F. Cali's "getting in shape" post, I'd love to get your thoughts on the following trends:

1. Wearing workout clothing everywhere: to the supermarket, to casual parties, to the gym, to brunch with the girls. (Doesn't J. Lo. look comfortable?)

2. Wearing make-up to the gym. (Hmm, does lipstick make you stronger?)

Weigh in below in the comments section!

Dear Ashlee,

Everyone is talking about how you're the new Jessica. And there's a lot of evidence to back that up. You finally got rid of that ghastly black hair and there are even whispers of a nose job although I liked your nose.

Lemme give you a little piece of advice, honey. You want to replace Jessica?

Then this (An unnecessary sartiorial tribute to Britney Spears):



Or this (an equally offensive tribute to Kirsten Dunst minus the great shades):



Or this (More Britney but at least you opted for shoes):


Are all completely unacceptable. You may be growing up, sweetie, but you've still got a long way to go.


It's called a hairbrush. Use it. Embrace it. Please.

The claim: “This refreshing, tingly gloss enhances lips’ natural color and shape while adding brilliant shine. Peppermint “cools” and stimulates lips. Lips become flushed and plump instantly for a sexy, “pouty” look. Vitamins A and E nourish the lips.”

The cost: About $5-7. Available at www.walgreens.com for $5.99.

The good news: It is tingly, probably due to the peppermint and cinnamon in the product. Your lips do look glossy and “flushed.” I reapplied this product several times, and I’ve hardly created a dent in the amount of gloss in the bottle: it seems it will last for a very long time. The plumping effect is very, very subtle. Looks pretty over a more traditional lipstick.

The bad news: Bad idea to kiss anyone while wearing this product. Very bad idea. If it seeps on to the skin surrounding your lips, it slightly burns. The glossy look is completely unnatural, but that’s fine if that’s what you’re going for. It tastes disgusting—and vaguely medicinal.
And as mentioned, the effect is very subtle. You won't step out of the house looking like Angelina Jolie in this stuff--maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's bad.

The verdict: I wouldn’t buy this product again. But I probably won’t have to; it seems like it will last forever. For people wanting a glossy, flushed lip look, this product might be a good fit. But it doesn’t seem like it’s worth the money for such a subtle plumping effect.

To be honest, I'm not so sure that I even care who brought home the bacon at the 33rd Annual Daytime Emmy Awards, but I will take any excuse I can to dissect the best and worst dressed of the glitterati.

BEST

Kelly Monaco: Of course she's going to look stellar---afterall, she co-hosted the show! Monaco channels Grecian Goddess with this sexy and confident gown. I absolutely love the color and the details accent, rather than overwhelm.

Rachael Ray: What a delightful color! The Pamela Dennis dress is uber classy and the flower succeeds in creating a focal point, yet is not gaudy. Rachael's hair and makeup are also lovely and natural. But I wonder, Rachael, when did you sprout boobs???

Dayanara Torres: You've managed to combine simplicity and elegance, achieving a perfect result. This dress is white-hot and the unique gathering at the top of the dress is quite pretty. I will also compliment your evenly tanned body, thankful you had the smarts to leave the orange at home.

Bobbie Eakes: It's a little over-the-top, but in a good way. This dress reminds me of old-Hollywood glamour. The feather boa is a fabulous accessory, but Bogart on your arm would have been so much better.

WORST

Tyra Banks: Your dress is lovely and lacy, but pockets and formal wear don't mix. And what's with the white shoes??? Did I miss something? Even if it were post-Memorial Day, white shoes should never be worn with a dark colored dress. You have an entourage....didn't they try to stop you?

Ashley Jones: Scissor Sister, you've sheared way too much and left too little to the imagination. This dress is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. I think the belly button hole is the worst part. And where does the neck tassel fit into the equation? Yuck.

Susan Lucci: Have you been borrowing Ashley's scissors? The pantyhose holding your dress together is wrinkled. Or maybe it's a run. Either way, it's not cute.

The View: Which side should I begin with? Meredith, it's 2006, not 1970. Star, what's with the silk floral arrangement in your decolletage? Barbara, past a certain age, it is not acceptable to bare shoulders at formal event. Joy, haven't I seen that shirt on you before? Elizabeth, did you visit an Idaho potato farm and "all you got was this stupid potato sack?"

Photos compliments of Fashion Wire Daily and Reuters.