Friday, June 30, 2006

Tori, hon

I don't know if the rumors are true, but I really hope Tori got to make peace with her dad. Let it be a lesson to us all: resolve your differences and cherish your family because life is short. Okay, enough preaching!

Regardless, girlfriend still needs some therapy. Some fashion therapy. And I don't mean the kind where you go buy yourself some 4-inch patent leather red pumps because that punk forgot your birthday--again--and he will never notice that $89.00 charge to Zappos on his credit card.

I mean some therapy like an intervention where her friends say, "No, honey, you do not look cute in a mumu no matter how short it is (yikes!) or how tan you are. Just no. We love you, but no. Although we have to admit, you've got some great gams."

Thursday, June 29, 2006

She's 'Rebellious' alright...

Oh snap! It's the PM and I still have to write a post for Las F for tomorrow! Whatever shall I do? I am short on time, so I need something quick. Instant post, if you will.

Hey look, it's everyone's favorite punching bag!

After the Britney's debacle of an interview and the resulting firestorm that arose from her lack of stylist, she's decided she doesn't need her fans after all. Or any good publicity.

And we all know that nothing says: "I'm rebelling and I don't give a rat's derriere what you [redacted] think" quite like black hair! Ooohhh...dramatic! Deep! Original! And yet so overdone!

I will give her points for her glowing skin and those shoes, although I wish she wouldn't wear them while a) pregnant (what if she trips?) or b) carrying her baby (again with the tripping). And the dress is cute albeit a bit wrinkled, but I mean, it's a dress and it matches and she IS wearing shoes, after all.

Overall, she looks like what this would look like if you electrocuted it, which of course means not so hot.

Poor Britney. Please stop making it so easy.

ETA: I've seen the pictures for Bazaar. I won't post them here (we like to keep it work friendly) but I will say this: She doesn't even look comfortable. The look on her face says it all: "You better be makin' me look GOOD! And...I have to admit they did an OK job.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

An Anatomy Lesson

So apparently, this girl is the new Daisy Duke, filling in Jessica's britches for the next Dukes of Hazzard movie.

Other than mentioning the fact that the first Dukes of Hazzard movie was not a major hit even when there were bona fide celebrities in it, I won't begrudge April Scott her shot at stardom. (Or eternal B-list celebrity status--one of those two.)

I was just wondering, are her boobs actually two symmetrical melons or were they just airbrushed that way? You gotta wonder if men are going to start thinking women are all supposed to look like strippers with perfectly round boobs.

To quote one of my favorite movies, Earth to Matilda: Breasts come in all shapes and sizes, and that is normal. Beautifully, blissfully normal.

I'm not anti-plastic surgery, but can't surgery help people look normal, and not like a Barbie doll with huge plastic knockers?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

10 Handbag Essentials for the Prepared Fashionista

If you're like me, you embrace the handbag mantra, "bigger is better." Why be choosy when you can carry it all! On an everyday basis, I've been known to stash no less than ten different lip gloss varieties in my purse. And I can justify a reason for carrying each individual color. But what about those evenings when your ensemble calls for a tiny clutch? How does a gal choose to fill her purse?

Of course, there are the "givens." You need your choice of plastic and your Swarovski-encrusted cell phone. But what else? What do you really need to survive?

Only ten additional items will fit into your miniature arm accessory. Here are ten items vital to an on-the-go Fashionista's survival:

1) Tinted Lip Gloss: Combine a product made for softening lips and a product made to enhance beauty and you get the tinted lip gloss. It's practical, yet plays up your pucker. The tint will come in handy when your cheeks need a quick flush. Simply dot a little and smooth for a last-minute blusher.

2) Pressed Powder with Mirrored Compact: It's amazing how a translucent pressed powder can instantly smooth a complexion, hide shine and freshen an eight-hour-old look. A light dusting works wonders in a pinch. Lightly wetted pressed powder is also successful at hiding a surfacing blemish. And a mirrored compact is absolutely necessary for discovering stray mascara smudges or a quick teeth check.

3) Fold-up hairbrush & Clear Elastic Hair Bands: After-work engagements can be tricky. You're still in your 9-to-5 powersuit, yet you've got dinner plans in thirty minutes. A hairbrush and some clear elastic hair bands can turn your work coif into a sexy updo or a flirty ponytail. In the interest of saving space, stash a brush that folds up or is miniature. The clear elastics are useful because they blend with your own hair color and are discreet.

4) Nail File: A broken nail won't just stay a broken nail. We have a tendency to worsen the situation by attempting to even the nail out but we never have the necessary tools to do so correctly. You don't need an arsenal of oddly-shaped nail clippers to do the job---a simple nail file will do just fine. My favorite on-the-go nail file is a mini nail file matchbook. It comes with two tiers of tiny nail files, that you break off just like a match. Each file is approximately two inches in length. You can find these little pink and purple books in the travel toiletries section of Target for only 99 cents!

5) Safety Pins: I don't think I can begin to stress the importance of keeping a variety of safety pins on hand. You can go a year without needing one and then in the blink of an eye, pop a button and curse yourself for not being prepared. Case in point---I busted a zipper in my favorite pair of jeans at work just recently. Thankfully, I was wearing a longish shirt that sufficiently hid my fashion snafu, but my barn door was wide open all day long. And why? Because I was not prepared. Another time I was backpacking in Amsterdam and the strap on my backpack broke. I was able to find a drugstore that sold safety pins, but otherwise, I would have been dragging my pack behind me all day long. Don't follow me. Be prepared. And don't forget to include some industrial-strength safety pins for those tough jobs!

6) Bandaids: New shoes may look fabulous, but the look on your face says it all--you have a blister and you are in pain. Sometimes, all you need is a buffer between that strappy sandal and your heel. Try these clear bandaids so you don't detract from your Manolos!

7) Sugarfree Gum or Mints: It doesn't matter how pretty or put-together a gal can be---if you've got bad breath, it's an instant turn off! Sugary gums and mints only contribute to bad breath, so stick with sugarless. All of mankind will thank you. And remember not to smack!

8) Stain-Fighting Apparatus: This is not the first time I've sung the merits of having a Tide Pen or a Shout Wipe on-hand for an unexpected spill. Both work exceptionally well at quickly removing stains. That ketchup smear will never be considered an accessory, so be prepared!

9) Antibacterial Wipes or Gel: I can think of a hundred reasons why a prepared Fashionista should always have this on hand. Truth is, we and the world we live in is pretty darn germy. And seriously---another restroom out of hand soap??? Antibacterial wipes or gel will not only give you extra germ-fighting protection during a meal on-the-go, but will also be useful to wipe off a dirty table or chair.

10) Ink Pen: It may seem like common sense, but how many times have you needed an ink pen and one was nowhere to be found? From slipping your phone number to the hot waiter to jotting down directions to a chic boutique, an ink pen will always come in handy.

What are your on-the-go, prepared Fashionista essentials? Leave your suggestions in the comment box.

All photos linked to online vendor.

Monday, June 26, 2006


Gwen Stefani, as you know, has quite the soft spot in my heart. She's really fabulous. She's feminine, she's original (in her fashion, anyway), and yet somehow she always captures that iconic movie star look.

Yup, classic movie start alright!

What do you think about this outfit? Is it pushing it, or is it OK considering she just had a baby like a week ago? You have to admit motherhood suits her!