Monday, September 19, 2005

Team Aniston or Team Jolie?

Word on the street is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are set to wed once Pitt's divorce from Jennifer Aniston is finalized. No official confirmation from the couple--they still have to publically acknowledge the fact that they're dating!

Our mothers always taught us that actions speak louder than words, and if Pitt and Jolie's actions are any indication, they're not too concerned about what anyone thinks about them.

This is a very hard case for us at Las Fashionistas. Thinking about it has consumed us, darlings. But really, the bottom line is that Brad Pitt's actions are really, really suspect. And as hot as both he and Jolie are (a recent Playboy survey discovered that 57% of college girls would cheat on their boyfriends to be with her), looks can't make up for the way they've handled this whole thing.

It's just not right to start dating right after a divorce. Especially not if you're suspected of cheating on your spouse anyway, and you're desirous of avoiding having the reputation of Jude Law. We at Las F are partial to monogamy, but really, Brangelina, this is a bit much.

Their actions reveal vast insensitivity to the feelings of others-namely, the lovely Jennifer Aniston, but more importantly, the millions of fans who really would love a piece of Angelina or Brad or both. We are sure that Kleenex has seen a definitive spike in sales this week as gossip columns worldwide broke the news that yes, ladies, Brad Pitt is still taken, and no, he won't become available any time soon. We've been through several Costco-sized boxes of tissues ourselves. Plans are being laid to get back the red sparkly thong we left at Brad's place when we were stalking him back when the divorce became public.

We at Las F feel that by jumping so quickly into a new relationship, Brangelina are boldly taking the helm of their very own relationship Hindenberg. No one can truthfully state that there will be no consequences for their actions. They will undoubtedly encounter personal struggles due rushing into a relationship and marriage so rashly. At the back of Angelina's mind will undoubtedly screech that everlasting maternal maxim: "If they do it with you, they'll do it to you" in reference to men like Brad who start pursuing a girl while still married to someone else.

In addition to this, their public image will suffer. As the Shining Intellects have already observed, they don't care what others think. This laissez-faire attitude towards the heretofore adoring public that made them rich will assuredly backfire. Or, in the immortal words of Tara Reid: "Karma's a bitch, and she'll [or they'll] get hers [or theirs].

We remain vigilant, dear readers.