Sunday, September 18, 2005

Emmy's Fashion Love/Hate List

Since we are the arbiters of good taste, we have done you the service of providing you with the best and absolute worst of the evening. We just judge the women, unless there turns out to be a truly terrible male dresser. After all, most of the men all look the same anyway, and aren't really worth the article space for. First, because it is so deliciously evil, the bad list.

1. Heidi Klum. Oh. Honey. What is going on here? You almost blend in with that plant behind you. By the way, Carmen Miranda called, and she wants you to give her back that dress so she can convert it back into a headdress. But while we're on the subject, excellent post-baby body. We envy you.

2. Eva Longoria. I am so sick of hearing about this woman. She might as well have just showed up topless. And what's that wreath around her neck? Save it for Christmas. Even Jeremy Piven, who we at Las F worship for his good taste and great sense of humor, knows how hideous that dress is. Fire your stylist, Eva.

3. Alyson Hannigan. Dear Lord, Alyson, bring that dress back to the indian reservation you stole it from. And while we're at it, what eight-year-old did your hair??? I mean, my hair looks like that when I roll out of bed! You fire your stylist, too.

4. Star Jones. I only have three words for her. Big. Purple. Sausage. Somewhere in heaven, Liberace is hungry.

5. Kathy Griffin. We appreciate your attempt at looking legitimate at the Emmy's, but that color doesn't even look good on Debbie Gibson. Someone needed to remind you that a) it's 2005, and b) just because you are a comedienne doesn't mean you need to look like a joke, too.

6. Sandra Oh. Uh...did you just jump out of some little girl's jewelry box and run to the Emmy's? I mean, mostly this dress is okay, but it looks like it's asphyxiating. And the bow and all that - I mean, come on, this isn't a tea party. But for the record, we're glad you're back. There aren't enough Arli$$ reruns in the world to satisfy our urge for Sandra.

Those are the worst of the worst, as we saw it. Thanks a ton to E! Online for the pics and Red Carpet coverage.