Monday, September 19, 2005

Emmy's 2005: Who Invited You?

Now, as we understand it, there is a formula that award show people use in order to figure out who gets an invitation to a show and who does not. As we know this is true, we want to make it perfectly clear that we do not ask why these people invited because we don't know how they fit into the formula. We are asking because there's no reason these people should be at this show.

I'm vaguely aware of Jennifer Love Hewitt having some sort of involvement in what may eventually turn into a television show...? That alone is not enough to excuse her for Garfield and invite her to the Emmy's. She hasn't been on television since Party of Five and I'm grateful of this. Plus it looks like she's wearing a black layer cake. Then there's Shannon Elizabeth. What in the world did she do to garner an invitation? At this rate, I should have been invited. Her latest projects included a brief (and I do mean brief) and not at all believable (and I do mean not at all) cameo in Love Actually. Come on! She does look rather pretty, though. Maybe she's growing up. Moving on, there's...this chick at left. Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here? And did you steal that necklace out of my jewelry box in the '90s? I knew I lost it somewhere. Apparently she's Samantha Harris, and was once in the Mighty Ducks - the third one. Not even the first one. I feel similarly about this woman at right, but whoever she is, you'd think she'd be able to put on a freakin smile. I mean, she's at the Emmy Awards, people. She should be overjoyed, but she actually grimaces. Just another example of how celebrities receive entirely too much, and they become unable to appreciate anything they receive. How sad. And then there's Clay. His American Idol second place finish is, what, two or three years old? I think it's very touching that he does a lot of humanitarian work, but if we're using that rationale, Mother Theresa should have gotten a couple of invites during her lifetime. Also, if you are lucky enough to be invited, don't do your shopping from the Regis Philbin line. And don't match your shirt to your hair. Okay, I'm done snappin on Clay. I'm sure he's very nice. Last, and probably least, as I was watchng the show, I asked myself, "Who let Doogie in to the Emmys?" The last work Neil Patrick Harris had was on Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Playing himself. A real stretch, Neil. I mean, that should barely be considered a role, because the term "role" generally means that you had to do a little research, get into character and portray someone. What was the research, spending a day in front of a mirror? Oh, I see, he has a show coming out this season. I guess you don't actually have to be successful to get an invitation. Good luck on that one, Doogie. In closing, I would like to once again ask the awards show producers to make sure our invitation does not get lost in the mail the next time around. We promise we will purchase lovely dresses and pose quite nicely in front of the paparazzi.

Again, special thanks to Yahoo! TV for the excellent pics.