Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Attack of the Skinny Jeans

Several readers have asked for commentary on the skinny jeans that seem to have swept through stores this year.

We should have been expecting this trend, seeing as the Mistresses of Le Uber Vogue Fug (Sienna Miller in particular) have been wearing them for over a year now. It was inevitable. Le Sigh.

There doesn't seem a whole lot of good things to say about skinny jeans. They're mysterious little fellows and a tricky look to pull off. So, let's start by talking about the kinds of lucky gals who can wear them:

My super-skinny and uber-glam French cousin (Hi Coz!). She's about 5'6", roughly 105 pounds (give or take), and she is the BOSS of the skinny pants.

Audrey Hepburn Audrey Hepburn was 5'7" and 110 pounds for most of her adult life. She also had a very straight and angular figure.

Mischa Barton--Alright, she's not the pinnacle of style that Audrey is, but she is tall, skinny, and can wear pretty much whatever she likes.

Kate "Water is so fattening" Bosworth
Bosworth has so wasted away in the past year or so that nothing could possibly make her appear skinnier. Not exactly the best role model for the kids.

Now, ask yourselves a question, loyal readers. And answer it honestly: Do you fit into any of these categories? Are you very tall and lanky? Are you a size 2-4 or below? Are you under 110 pounds? Are you straight-legged and slender? If so, have at those bad bad skinny pants.

If not, have a piece of cake! Console yourself with this thought: Tight pants have been known to cause yeast infections anyway. Consider yourself lucky.