As an ongoing attempt to inform the public of what should or should not be worn out this weekend, I give you the ever-dewy Jessica Alba:

Just look at her. Somewhere, Marcian Crossing is throwing a temper tantrum because all the Botox and microdermabrasion in the world will never bring back the skin she had twenty years ago:


What's up with this dress? It's...so frumpy. Why is frumpy in? And why is the ever-hot Jessica Alba partaking in frumpy when she so obviously has nothing to hide?

And what's the deal with those shoes? They look like ballet en-pointe shoes.


The makeup is OK. And I want her necklace. But her hair is so...dark. I'd be fine with it if her bangs didn't desperately need a trim, but really...



It just goes to show, ladies, that spending money on a stylist is a waste of good green. Just read Las F instead and save a bundle.