If you said, "You heart who??" you're missing out on an entire universe - or should I say, Askewniverse - of hysterics and good films. As a service to you, we're going to tell you all about Kevin and what he has done for us.

Kevin is a fellow Jerseyan, and has paid hommage to my homeland in a number of films. You may remember them as "the Jay and Silent Bob" movies. Yes, he is the very same man who plays Silent Bob, which is odd, because if you've ever seen the two of them in an interview, the opposite is generally true. In any event, there are many (myself included) who have really enjoyed his movies because they are not just slapsticky and funny, but also make you think. For that reason he is a genius, and if he ever reads this - Kevin, you and I should chat. You'd like me. You should put me in Clerks X! Here's what you need to rent, in the order they should be seen:

Clerks - His first film, in black and white, chock full of witty banter and references you'll need to know to understand the rest of his films. Clerks was shot in the actual store Kevin worked at when it was closed, and was made for around $20,000, if I'm not mistaken. Cheap. But good.

Mallrats - He filmed his sophomore effort in color, but sadly, not in New Jersey. But it's set in New Jersey, so that makes up for it. Jason Lee's first appearance in a Smith film as Brodie is pants-wetting. Not only that, but it was practically the official movie of my generation, so you really ought to watch it. Also enjoy seeing Ben Affleck in a very uncomfortable position before he hit it big with that movie he made...what was that called?

Chasing Amy - This is definitely the most serious in the series so far. Still funny, and Jason and Ben return, but don't watch this film if you're looking to just tune out for a while. For this reason, it's also my favorite. A brilliant look at human nature and relationships today. Plus it gave birth to a long speech I used to woo the man of my dreams in college. Didn't work. But he was a dumb hater, anyway.

Dogma - If you thought this was just that fanatically religious film, you're missing out on so much. It's a different look at religion today, and how it compares to spirituality. Amazing fare coming from a purveyor of toilet humor, eh? He's truly smart, and this film proves it. And hey, is that - Salma Hayek? And Alan Rickman? And Matt Damon? This man has some friends, yo. And they all came to make a movie with him.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - I have to admit, this was my least favorite of his films, but that didn't mean I didn't like it. This is the film to watch if you just want to laugh a lot and not think about things for a while. And you would not believe some of the cameos in this film. This guy really knows a ton of people.

Of course, there's also Jersey Girl, but that's not a Jay and Silent Bob film, so I won't go into that one too much, except to say that it's worth renting. The little girl is adorable. And be on the lookout for Clerks X: Passion of the Clerks, a tenth anniversary salute to the original. Now go out and rent some movies!