"Look at me, I'm so hot. Of course my hair is naturally red, beeyotches!"

Seriously, this woman scares me. It's not normal to be that thin, and it's not normal to have skin that smooth at 42. I don't care if 40 is the new 30, it's just not natural. Someone needs to force-feed her a Big Mac stat.

You'd be pissed at her too if you'd just gone to the doctor's and discovered that you weighed three more pounds than last time you visited.

IT'S ON.

I hearby declare war on Marcian Crossing, aka Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewife. Readers, if you see any pictures of her, or hear anything that we can use to make fun of her, send it my way. lasfashionistas at yahoo dot com.