Friday, September 23, 2005

Food Addicts Anonymous

"I want to know if it's possible to get a hold of some celebrities who have lost massive amounts of weight lately and ask them exactly what they are eating?"

Well, Anonymous, while I can't exactly call the celebrities and ask to see their food diaries, we have our little feelers out to find out exactly what goes into the mouths of those who are suddenly not fat. And by the way, next time leave your name, that was a great question!

Kirstie Alley has made a public affair out of losing weight, becoming the star of the sitcom/reality show Fat Actress and spokeswoman for Jenny Craig. From what I've heard, she has indeed been successful in losing her 50 pounds, but as a result her television show is in trouble. There are now talks to cancel the show because it seems that the whole premise of it is gone. No wonder people in Hollywood are weight-crazy: they hound you to lose weight if you're even a little curvy, but then when you do your show gets the boot. Obviously the Hollywood bigwigs are not so much about people as about business. Now, as you may have seen on the show, she didn't really turn any kind of food down when she was fat, so what was her secret to getting thin? We know it wasn't Jenny Craig. However, my sources reveal that she really did do it the Jenny Craig way. She basically ate what was shipped to her and rarely deviated from the plan. Of course, she exercised, too. You know what? Good for her.

Anna Nicole is probably one of the most famously recent-thin, and the reports I've been receiving on her are not good. It has been rumored that she starves herself to get thinner, and of course she attributes her weight loss to "Trimspa, baby." Apparently all the positive responses she's been getting to her weight loss have prompted her to just stop eating. This goes to show you that there's an entire other side to weight loss - you could overeat due to what others say about you, and you can undereat for the same reason. She also has been known get frequent colonics. Talk about desperate to lose weight. Either way, she's an absolute train wreck, fat or thin. Look at her. But not for too long!

And then there's Calista Flockhart. She caught a lot of grief for looking anorexically thin, but she claims she's just naturally thin. There's thin, and there's Calista, and I know for sure she's not a fellow Swiss Cake Roll eater, such as myself. My sources indicate that although she claims to be naturally thin, she is an adherent of the Atkins diet anyway. She was also an exercise addict at one point, and still may be. I have even heard that she vomited after meals so that she could look like skin and bones. Whether or not any of this stuff is actually true can only be known to Calista, but it just goes to show you that appearance is a big business in Hollyweird. The moral of the story is this: you may not be the thinnest of people, you may not be the fattest, you may not be stereotypically gorgeous. What we real people (and especially you girls out there) need to remember is that you need to be comfortable in your own skin. It's more important than what your hair looks like, what clothes you wear or who made your shoes. Love yourself for who you are and that love will make you look gorgeous.