Thursday, August 17, 2006

Office Accoutrements

I was in Target on Monday, shopping for toothpaste, when I noticed a general madness gathering in the school supply section. Droves of mothers, armed with lists of colored pencils and notebooks, escorted their children throughout the aisles in search of the perfect Lisa Frank pencil case.

I remember those days lovingly, but I am well beyond the years of heart-shaped erasers and scented markers. Just because corporate America is your reality, doesn't mean your cubicle and desktop must be drab.

Hare are a few suggestions for fun office accessories:

Your mouse is bored. That chewed-up sorry piece of grayish foam is not only dirty, but circa 1993. Give your mouse a new domain from which to roam with a decorative mousepad, in an array of colorful patterns.

While innovative as they may be, the standard-issue yellow Post-It couldn't be any less attention-grabbing. Replace those sticky squares with eye-catching statements to record every important note.

If you're the office scrub, one of your responsibilities is to go through every piece of mail that enters through the doorway. And chances are, because your boss is too lazy to open his own mail, he has you do it for him. Orders are orders, but why suffer with paper cuts too? At least the most mundane task has the potential to be somewhat exciting...

For the sake of efficiency, buy this highlighter flower right now. First of all, you've got access to five different hues of highlighter in a compact shape. Second, you will appear to be hanging on every word uttered at those board meetings. In actuality, you will be furiously doodling on your upward tilted clipboard, and what better way to do it than with multicolored highlighters. Something's got to keep you awake, right?

It's important to know the office lingo. Impress your boss with your knowledge of words like "synergy" and phrases like "paradigm shift." Show off your savvy vocabulary by practicing with these flashcards. They also make a great conversation piece when flirting with the hottie in the next cubicle.

We can all agree with Milton--a red stapler is a big deal. And if it goes missing, we might just be tempted to burn the building down. This red beauty will come in handy when you need to staple together that stack of TPS reports. Riiiiiiight...

Vacation's not for another 237 days, but that doesn't mean you can't at least pretend you're sunning at the beach. Complete with it's own real sand, seashells, beach toys, and even a chair, this tropical desktop accessory will take your mind off those looming deadlines.

Photos linked to online vendor.