"I want to hear about Britney Spears and Kevin, what is up with them since their baby's birth, anyways?"

Well, Snafu, as you might imagine, their life is just as chaotic (ho ho ho) now as it was before. And of course, so as not to disappoint her gawking public, Britney and hubby K-Fed are just as nutty as ever. As you know, B.S. is from Louisiana, and wanted to do her part to support the region with charity in response to the hurricanes. To this end, she is auctioning a number of personal items and donating the proceeds to charity. They are - get ready, now - her used pink flip flops, one of her used bras, and a pair of boxer shorts that may or may not have been worn by one of the two Federlines. You could even own a burgundy version of her confusing golden ticket tank top (the insinuations of which we are still grappling with). As she puts it, these trinkets are for those fans who want memorabilia that's "cool" and "rare" (read: for her psychofans).

In other news, the new family had to evacuate their home in Los Angeles due to the wildfires last week, so they're probably holed up somewhere else for now. The more fascinating news, however, is that Kevin's rap album (excuse me while I laugh about that for a minute) will be coming out oh-so-shortly, and I for one am dying to hear exactly what this is going to sound like. Even if he made Grammy-winning material, does he honestly think anyone will take him seriously? Well, mazel-tov, I hope it's a success. Rumors are rampant that we will be put through another installment of Chaotic, this time with scenes from the birth and infancy of baby SPF. All the while, Britney is claiming she just wants some private time with her family. Sure. Brit's also in talks with a Las Vegas entertainment house to start doing shows on the Strip - how appropriate! I suppose all of this will be contingent on whether or not she starts refusing the Cheetos and starts to work off the baby weight.

On the home front, things are looking dicey. Britney says she's suffering from postpartum depression. What's making it worse, according to a friend's report to Life and Style Weekly, Kevin forgot their anniversary. Shame on you, Kevin. Now is the time to turn up the heat on your responsibility pie. Oh, and as a juicy aside - guess who has been calling Chris Klein so much he had to change his number? None other than his ex-fiancee, the no-doubt desperate Katie Holmes, according to U.S. Weekly. Interesting!