Sunday, October 02, 2005

Top 5 Girl Mistakes

"I read the section Top 5 guy's mistakes and it is so true at least for my boyfriend, how about Top 5 Girl's mistakes?"

Sure thing, Vero. Girls make plenty of mistakes, and I'd be happy to enumerate a few of them.

1. Smaller is Not Better
If there's anything that girls hate, it's having to buy clothes bigger than you thought you needed them. I sympathize with the philosophy, but for crying out loud, just buy it in the right size. Girls whose jeans are too small look like they're baking bread. And then not only do you look fatter than you would in the correct size, but you also look like you have a confidence problem. If you really can't handle the number, cut the tags out, and remember that some stores run small, some run big. You're the only one seeing the number, anyway. Your size doesn't matter as long as you dress appropriately, as we see on our lovely plus-size model at left.

2. Crack Kills
This goes back to the ill-fitting clothes problem, but it can happen to you if you buy the right size, too. The evil cousin of this phenomenon is the visible thong which, no matter what people tell you, is not sexy. The street name for that is apparently "whale tail". Again, only a select group of people should see your underwear. Now, in order to avoid this, you should do the squat test when trying on your jeans, especially low-rise. Do a deep knee bend and use the mirror to see what the person behind you is going to see when you're sitting.

3. Shoes are Not Worth Dying For
I completely understand the whole sexy shoe thing. No matter how much they hurt, you wear them anyway, and not only do you end up walking around like a crippled person, but you actually end up crippled. Just buy a comfortable pair of shoes! No one will respect you if you have the hottest shoes on the block but you can't walk in them. Either that, or learn to walk so you can hide your pain, because you're not going to get snaps with tears rolling down your cheeks. Besides, we live in the 21st century. Technology has reached a point where we can achieve beautiful shoes without permanent injury. Harness this power!

4. Just Because They Sell It...
Women can be slaves to fashion, but this is a mistake for two reasons. Firstly, you should dress the way that accentuates your personality. Secondly, sometimes even the hottest designers get it wrong. You have to use your best judgement at all times! Furthermore, just because everyone else is wearing it doesn't mean it's necessarily a stylish piece. As an example, I give you the busy pattern outfit, such as at left. A busy pattern is best done on either a shirt or scarf, but to make a whole outfit out of what looks like Mentos (the Freshmaker) is a mistake. I see women fall victim to this all the time. Do one at a time or not at all.

5. Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
You need to do a couple of mirror checks and get a friend's opinion if you're going out in a daring outfit, such as Britney's. Thankfully, she wore a bathingsuit under this dress to spare us the gory details, but there have been many red-carpet faux pas when a woman wore a dress that she didn't know was completely transparent. You'll also like a second opinion to make sure everything you can't see is in check, like the dreaded Visible Panty Line (VPL). VPL is another mistake that need never be made, since they make all kinds of special undergarments (not just thongs, by the way) that can help you avoid that. Your friend will also be able to notice boogers, spinach in your teeth, sweater holes, etc, before you do.