Tuesday, September 13, 2005

And Now She's Reproducing...

Although I enjoy a few of her less annoying songs, Britney Spears is just a puzzling malaise of redneck ignorance and Hollywood riches. She's always been on the strange side - going barefoot in a public bathroom, that bizarre 53-hour wedding. She was odd and unavoidable, but at least before there was only one of her. Now she has a child on the way - I can only imagine the world of trouble this child is in for.

In Britney's defense, she has gotten quite a bit more sensible since she became pregnant. It's almost like she found her calling in life and decided to get serious about it. The same, however, cannot be said for her husband, two-time father Kevin Federline. This man has virtually disappeared from the papers, most likely hiding out in strip clubs and the local 7-Eleven, and while K-Fed is out having a good time, Mommy Dearest is at home, nesting and preparing for her joyful delivery. I like the new Britney, but she could not have chosen a worse baby-daddy. I mean, how many children is she having, here?

Her responsibility for her pregancy is a pleasant surprise. She's stopped dying her hair (as you can see she's now sporting brown), she hasn't taken a drink or smoke since she got the good news...it's like she's a brand new woman. She also came out with names for her potential child. She does not yet know if it is a boy or a girl, but a recent article in People Magazine reported that all five the psychics they surveyed predict a boy. I tend to agree with their assessment - she's carrying high. If it is a boy, he will be either graced with the name Sean Preston, or saddled with the name London Preston. She says she likes London beause it sounds pretty. I'm sure your 18-year-old son will be grateful you gave him a pretty name, honey. If the child turns out to be a girl, she will be called Addison Shye. Addison isn't so bad, but Shye? That's a poorly-spelled adjective, and little else. But what else would you expect from Britney?