Dear Ashlee,

We want to congratulate you, babe. Not only did you take us up on our idea for that movie idea we suggested,but you also showed up for the premiere of the event dressed like the nice, sweet little girl that the optimists at Las F would like to believe you are, underneath it all.



Darling, you look marvelous! The dress! It fits perfectly and is delightfully devoid of tasteless pins, rips, neon colors, and ill-fitting seams. It flatters your cute little figure remarkably. Your hair, although a little blonder than perhaps we might find in nature, looks decent pulled back. We're not crazy about the shoes (did you steal them from some unsuspecting bride?), and your makeup is a little summer 2003, but we'll cut you some slack on that. Why, you might ask? Because, Ashlee, you've remembered the two most important accessories an aspiring movie maven can carry-two fawning friends who aren't as famous as her and whose names no one really can remember.

Good work, sweetie!