Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Reminds me of an old, old adage...

Readers, what was that particularly clever thing I always used to say? Something about a faux pas, right? Something about denial, I know. What was it...

Oh, hi Sharon Stone.

You know, having done a blockbuster movie before (even though it was long enough ago that I wasn't allowed to watch it), I assume that you know you'd be in the public spotlight for pretty much the next year or until Britney manages to find some other immodesty with which she might sear the public cornea. And I gotta tell you, girlfriend, you've not done so great with that whole aging gracefully thing (at least not all the time):

Personally, I'd consider firing your stylist, for letting you i) wear eyeshadow that brings out the gray of your complexion, ii) not brushing your hair (friends don't let friends go uncoiffed) and iii) letting you wear that atrocity right out of a 1980's beauty queen reject pile.

So I have to say I'm really happy with your current outfit. It's grownup (face it honey, you're no Rachel Bilson--and that doesn't have to be a bad thing), it's elegant, and everything is covered...

Oh. Guess not.

Now I remember that thing I used to say:

Nothing says fashion faux pas quite like denial.

Denial can take several forms: denial of one's age (check-only 12 year olds can go without a proper bra and by proper I mean ONE THAT COVERS THE HEADLIGHTS), and also there's denial of one's need for proper undergarments. Take a page out of Katie Holmes' book--that broad knows how to cover her bases, crazy husband aside.

So Sharon? Maybe you can lure Katie away from Posh and the marvelous ether that is high fashion long enough to get her to share a few secrets with you, namely the secrets about keeping all lady parts far away from the public eye. That would be great.

Pictures courtesy of Fuggers and Sugar