Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Star Mom Fashion: Contrast and Comparison

You know, I have to be honest and admit that I've never really liked Jennifer Garner real much. She always seemed sickly and pale, despite her beautiful dimples and generally attractive features. Although I liked Alias, I never watched it regularly and I always thought she was a sourpuss.

But then she got pregnant. Oh with the glowing and the smiling! Oh with the cute outfits and the burgeoning belly! She got HUGE there towards the end, but I still thought she was cute. (I try to go easy on pregnant women. I know that F Jersey didn't like Gynnie's dress but I thought it was cute, if a bit reminiscent of your grandmother's lace tablecloths.)

The bottom line is, I really like Jennifer Garner now. She seems healthy and happy. She probably got to eat what she wanted for the first time during her pregnancy.

I like the whole granola look she has going on. For the moment I'm going to pretend that guy next to her is a homeless man and not her husband.

Look at that, kids! Her hair is brushed, her outfit is perfectly coordinated. She looks casual without being frumpy or trashy. This just goes to show, dear readers, that motherhood does not equal the end of cuteness or classy dressing. Contributing to the world's population does not exempt you from basic cleanliness and at least an attempt at matching clothes, or, Heaven forbid, life-station-appropriate clothing.

Britney, I'm looking at you.

More than anything, I'm just confused by this picture. Why the high heels whilst carrying one's beloved offspring? What if she trips whilst adjusting her scanty garment? Perhaps more importantly, why that awful, awful shirt (I refuse to call it a dress) and absence of pants underneath it? We all know you have bosoms, and that they're nice and big since you had your baby--but we don't want to see them.

Why the horrible hair reminiscent of Duran Duran?

WHY, Britney? Why? I won't say you've ever been terribly classy, but PLEASE. Pull it together.

Call Jennifer. She'll help you. Jennifer seems to have realized, darling, that just because your husband is a slob doesn't mean you have to be one. Misery may love company, and mediocrity loves to drag others down, but you can resist.

Photos courtesy of Just Jared and What Would Tyler Durden Do?