Thursday, October 13, 2005

Making Your Clothes Work for You

"Can you elaborate on this girdle thing? I have to admit that I hear 'girdle' and think 'grandma,' which as you've so wonderfully pointed out in another post, doesn't mean un-sexy at all, but nevertheless, is not exactly the look I'm going for. How do they work? Are they sexy at all? How do you explain it once the dress comes off???
Please enlighten me,

I know what Julia and a lot of people must be thinking - either that Grandma image or the image of Vivien Leigh getting strapped into that corset before the barbeque at Tara. Either way, it doesn't sound very appealing. Fortunately modern science has made it possible for women to achieve a smooth look without sacrificing air quality or ribs. The girdle, or foundation, as I like to call it (it just sounds more appealing), goes underneath your fancy dress to smooth out any lines that you may get from your body shape. As in that picture of Star Jones that we lampooned a while ago, there was a big ol' roll of fat sticking out of her dress, and it just looked unattractive. Now, there is nothing wrong with heavy women, but you need to dress appropriately for your size and shape, and the foundation helps to eliminate some of the problems with dressing up. The one pictured at left is a good example - it's basically a an article that forms to your body and is made out of a smooth, stretchy material such as lycra. It sucks you in a little and smooths you out so your dress lays slinkily over your body. You can, of course, wear it with other articles of clothing if you like. They come in all shapes and sizes, depending on what kind of dress you have. There are also foundations that just shape a particular part of your body if you have a problem area, like your hips or your stomach. Some people wear them all the time, but what's the sense in that? Las F prefer just to wear it for a special occasion.

Now that you know what it is, how do you go about getting one? They are sold online, but this is something that I'd really recommend you go to the store to try on before you buy. Sizes, in my opinion, are a general guideline in this case, and certainly not foolproof. And as good as it can help you look, you'll look that much worse if it doesn't fit properly. That said, it can be really difficult to come across a foundation. You'll need to go to a store that sells mainly undergarments. You can find a few at Victoria's Secret, but even they don't have a wide selection. Bridal stores often carry them, and boutique-style lingerie stores, as well. If you think that sounds expensive, it probably will be. As I said, though, you'll spend a bit of money, and it will be well worth it. Trust me!

As for how to explain the foundation once the dress comes off, there are a couple of ways around it. For many people, by the time the dress is coming off your significant other already loves you for who you are, and the presence of the foundation will mean little considering what's to follow. In the situations where this is not the case, you could always use the "slip into something more comfortable" line. You can even carry a purse that will be big enough to fit your foundation, excuse yourself to "freshen up" and pull the foundation off really quick whenever you get back to your destination. Then you emerge looking much like you did before - just suck it in for a few minutes. Trust me, especially if you're with a guy, at this point he's not looking at how your dress falls on your body - he's thinking about one thing only and it's not that.