Oh, Heidi, Heidi.


Listen, babe, we love you. You're gorgeous. The skin, it glows! The hair, it shines! The smile, it's genuine! The makeup, it's charming! The shoes, they're glamorous! The bump, it's perfect!

We have never, ever seen a more genuine smile from a celebrity. You look as if you're truly, truly happy.

But honey, have you been taking lessons from Britney? Really.

THE DRESS, IT'S HORRIBLE!












Were you going for Vegas Showgirl? Or fashion-clueless cougar? Or what? Whose dress is this, and how did it unfortunately find its way into your closet?









We think that grown-up mommies shouldn't wear dresses this short, but your gams are gorgeous, so we'll tolerate it. But listen. The fringe is OUT. Done. It was history as of 1988.

We'll tolerate a short black dress on a pregnant lady. But even the Shining Intellects have their limits.

Ditch the fringe!