Thursday, April 27, 2006

If You Can't Say Something Nice...Tell the Truth!

Recently the Shining Intellects recieved this question:

Hi fashionistas! I was wondering if you could do a little bit of forecasting: in what direction do you think celebrity fashion is moving?

I've been procrastinating answering this question because I really didn't have an opinion. I finally decided that in the interest of my readers I should answer it, despite the fact that my unequivocal answer to the question: "In what direction is celebrity fashion moving?" must be: "Nowhere good, and nowhere I want myself or anyone I remotely care about to go."

Ladies and gents, I give you Vogue's and Mr. Blackwell's best dressed of 2005. I give you these images not to harm you, or to grieve you, but to teach you all a lesson, the lesson of course being this: Ignore the celebrities.

I could make jokes about how the coke has finally gotten to her, but this sort of thing has been going on for awhile.
She actually TOPPED Vogue's list. She was the first one they thought of! It is exactly facts like this that underline, for me, all that is wrong with this world. Super-skinny jeans? Furry boots? And the worst part is that she's sort of cute despite it all. Think what would happen if she cleaned up her act...
It pains me to post this picture because my first encounter with Kirsten Dunst was when she played Amy in Little Women, also known as One of the Last Movies Off Which Winona Ryder Made Any Money. I loved her! She was so cute and innocent, petulant in all the right spots...ouch. How the mighty have fallen!

...This just confuses me. What is it? A dance leotard? A tunic? A dress? Whatever it is, it's weird. Even leggings (did I just say that?!) would make the outfit look better. Also doing Whatsherface Barton no favors is the fact that the shoes are brown, and the dress clearly has a black stripe on it.

So, I have nothing nice to say about celebrities. I don't think that's news for most of you. Bottom line? You'll see stuff you love on celebs, and feel free to copy it. As for the direction of celeb fashion...

The mind, it boggles.